Oh nooooo!!!

So it's hand in day for draft 1 and I'm am up this early,why? Because last night I got a migrane that lasted me all evening! So I got 0% more done on the essay and have had to start TRYING to finalise this piece of writing before 1pm! It's gunna be tough but I'll try my best. I have about 700 words to write before I start the conclusion so thats fine and I'm pretty sure I can be 10% over OR under the word count so as long as I reach 1900 words I should be in the clear! I know this is just a draft but I want to do well, if I don't strive now then I wont be any better off in a month when the REAL thing has to be handed in.
Needless to say I am really enjoying the subject I'm writing about (Gay culture and the relation to certain identities due to fashion choices). It's really interesting and I keep reading about it.... it's just writing it down.... is killing me!!!
And don't even mention my presentation!!! I know it's gunna be a doddle and I'm great at talking (or rather I can just talk FOREVER!) but I can't help feeling that sense of dread when I remember that this is all going towards a grade and I don't want to fail!

RIGHT, enough of my displacement insecurities! Back to writing!

Finally!

I downloaded Blogger for my phone so it's going to be a lot easier to post from now on. I've really been cracking on with this essay and tonight I'm continuing. Writing it all out has really helped me cement my ideas and the question that I'm asking has become a lot clearer!
I've written 1,000 words now so only 1,000 more to go tomorrow night but it's a little harder to stay focused than I thought. As much as this subject interests me I just HATE essay writing. It's not me. I work with fabric at my finger tips and I draw and paint and talk. Writing things down and reading texts just isn't my bag.

I've actually started writing!

Okay so it's not much and I'm still panicking a bit about this draft hand-in but it isn't all that bad. I started with a quote and it really got the ball rolling!
I just hope I can fill the word count because I've only written like 200 words :( times that by ten and then we're talking!
Nevermind! I'm going to try and get soe more done tonight and then I'm going to work on it a little more before the hand in for the 1st draft on Wednesday.

Essay and Presentation Talk

We met up today in 1F4 at Bower Ashton to discuss blogs, the essay and the presentation. This was extremely helpful as I have been feeling a little stuck. I now have a little bit more courage to start this essay and to get a draft out by next Wednesday!

• It should be 2,000 words and come attached with a bibliography
• I have been using only book sources so should include some internet and AV sources as well
• I must post this blog to Blackboard
• I have to try and post more on this blog
• I need to make sure that I mention that I am using sources and not primary research

With the presentation (due 17/04/2013) I need to:-

• Choose a source or topic from my essay and research
• Look at it in a different way, from a different angle
• Present back ideas and comparisons
• this can be an avenue to explore things you haven't been able to in  your essay

So I turned up and no one was there!

I assume it's because I was late and they had filtered off to another room but there wasn't much of a way that I could find where they were.
I wasn't going to waste my time spent in Bower library though and started to look deeper into the books I had chosen. There is a lot on gay fashion history in these books but nothing about attitudes of the audience of this fashion. I really need to FOCUS on how the clothes construct identities. Like the fact that because gay men liked other men they were assumed to be women stuck in men's bodies and often adopted women's clothing and feminin characteristics. This might have been true for some but there were other gay men of that time who didn't feel feminin they just were attracted to men.
Maybe I need to look at how identities effect clothing, fashion and taste?

Stilllll got writers block...

So this writers block i seem to be having is really taking its toll. Every time I sit down at the computer I get like stage fright and then I can't write. I almost can't bear going new my computer to write and I am not being as good as I should at turning up to lectures.

I have had training for my Student Ambassador part time job and doctors appointments but still that shouldn't be stopping me from writing. 

I am starting to get a solid idea about what I want to explore in this essay. I want to look at clothing and how it effects how we view someone. I want to focus on the community because these days you can't judge someone to be straight or gay by their clothing because everyone is wearing every style of clothing, regardless of whether it is a specific style which gays have adopted in the past.

Research into my theme

So today I sat in the library and got really into researching my theme.
I used the search system and found some books which I LOVE the look of and am really excited to get this essay underway.
The books I have read so far are:-

• Cervantes-Carson, Alejandro and Rumens, Nick ‘Sexual Politics of Desire and Belonging’ (2007)

• Cole, Shaun ‘Don We Now Our Gay Apparel: Gay Men’s Dress in the 20th Century’ (2000)

• Dijk, Lutz van and Driel, Barry van ‘Challenging Homophobia: Teaching about Sexuality Diversity’ (2007)

• Johansson, Thomas ‘The Transformation of Sexuality: Gender and Identity in Contemporary Youth Culture’ (2007)

• Suthrell, Charlotte ‘Unzipping Gender; Sex, Cross-dressing and Culture’ (2004)

• Ribeiro, Aileen ‘Dress and Morality’ (1st: 1986) (2nd: 2003)

• Tseelon, Efrat ‘Masquerade and Identities: Essay on Gender, Sexuality and Marginality’ (2001)

I have highlighted quote from these books and will start to think about starting this essay... although I seem to have writers block!